Aqsa resettled in the United States less than a year ago with her husband and two children. Aqsa’s husband assisted US military operations in Afghanistan, and after they were forced to flee in 2021, they waited for 11 months in Pakistan before they were able to resettle in New York City.
What it was like to celebrate Ramadan in Afghanistan?
Celebrating Ramadan back in Afghanistan was really fun for us — a very joyful time with the family, preparing many kinds of foods, sitting on the floor together and breaking our daily fast on lots of special dishes, because we don’t eat or drink anything during the day, even a sip of water.
There’s a special prayer at the mosque after we break our fast on dried dates, then we come back and have tea. At midnight, we have a big meal so we don’t get hungry or thirsty during the day.
Every night, we make kabuli pulao: rice and meat with raisins, carrots, and almonds. We also make lots of vegetables and bolani, a bread filled with spiced mashed potatoes. Then we have desserts and green tea with saffron.
What is your favorite part of Ramadan?
In our home country, we prepared lots of decorations. We put lights around the house and the kids enjoyed that a lot. There is not as much opportunity to do that here, but it's okay. Inshallah, we will do our best.
How will Ramadan be different this year in the US?
This is our first Ramadan in this home, in this country. Everything is so different here. The environment, people’s behavior — it takes a long time to make connections. In one of our first days here, I got lost on the way to the hospital while taking my daughter to an appointment, and I asked so many people for directions, showing them the map, because I wasn’t used to using a map. I walked around for four hours with two kids, and that day I cried a lot. Sometimes I feel like I don’t fit into this society. It makes me want to help everyone else who is also new in the city.
Here, I don’t know anyone else who celebrates Ramadan except my neighbor, so I am excited to see how people from other countries celebrate.
What would you like others to know about Ramadan?
People think if we are fasting, we will lose our energy. But trust me, during Ramadan, we are very fresh. Our minds are working well. When we fast, it calms our hearts. Our whole attention and focus goes to our prayers and our good deeds. If you are able to help poor people with money and food, it is compulsory. This charity is called Zakat. And whenever I pray from the bottom of my heart with honesty, my prayers are always accepted. I remember four years ago, I was really hoping for a baby boy. For the whole thirty days of Ramadan, I was praying “please bless me with a baby boy.” I was pregnant, and when I went to the doctors, she told me I am having a baby boy. I will never forget that moment.
What traditions do you want to keep with you here?
I want to decorate my house! My daughter keeps asking, “How are we going to decorate this room? When will we do this?” She remembers all the things we did in our country.
We left our families back in Afghanistan. It’s a very big sacrifice, but life wanted this from us. I’m thankful that I have my kids, and I know everyone has ups and downs. No one has everything. The important thing is we shouldn’t lose our hope.
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